lcnonsociety:

Aaron and I talk all the time about what we’re going to tell Whalen when he’s high-school-aged about drugs, sex and alcohol.  We’ve kind of done it all so it seems kind of hypocritical to take a hard line on this stuff. But what happens if you don’t? Are you giving your kid implicit permission to fuck his life up?

I really like the Gotham Gal’s post about this and will file it away and read often to keep us on track:

Each relationship is different with every different kid.  Some kids are much more mature at 14 than others.  My advice last night was simple, at least these are the rules that we live by.  Talk to your kid.  Talk to your kid.  Talk to you kid.  Even if they don’t want to talk to you continue talking to them.  Teach them how to be adults because when High School is over they go to college they can do whatever they want.  Teach them how to drink responsibly.  Teach them how to have safe sex.  Teach them that no means no.  Teach them if they are going to get stoned to understand what they are getting into.  Teach them that pharmaceutical drugs can be seriously dangerous if you don’t know what dosage you are taking.  Alcohol is not time-released.  If you see a friend in serious trouble, don’t be afraid to call 911 or me and there will be no questions asked.  If your kids starts to slide in school or move with a different crowd or appear to be withdrawn, dig in and see why.  Be aware of the changes in your kids surroundings.  Also, different kids, different conversations.  Families with histories of drug abuse should be having different conversations with their kids than families without that history.  Families that live in the suburbs where driving is part of your every day life is a different conversation too.  In the city, you just hail a cab.  Remember you can get pregnant and drunk at 6pm.

Bottom line, at the end of the day, talk to your kid and have open honest conversations with them so you can feel you did everything you could to teach them to fly out of the nest responsibly.  To think that my kid isn’t doing sex, drinking and drugs is like burying your head in the sand.  

It isn’t easy going through those teenage HS years but keeping the conversation as open as you did when they were 10 may not easy but at the end of the day, you are still the person they rely on if something goes bad.  Let them know your door is open and you won’t judge them.  Also let them know you trust them to make smart decisions and most of the time they will. 

My parents did an amazing job with this last part: letting me know they trusted me to make smart decisions. Most of the time I did. :)